


Unravel

by JasnNCarly



Series: Jason and Carly's World [10]
Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M, JasnNCarly, My OTP, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-25
Updated: 2007-05-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 23:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasnNCarly/pseuds/JasnNCarly
Summary: Carly wants to end things with Jason.





	Unravel

_I need to see you._  
  
Even after years of being apart, knowing their lives were completely separate, her request had sent him to her with one plane ride.  
  
Port Charles seemed like a lifetime ago to him.   
  
He only imagined she felt the same.   
  
The last time he checked in on the town, he had heard she left with full custody of her sons and no word on where she would end up.  
  
_I can't imagine why she'd stay._  
  
Settling in his seat, his deep blue eyes stared out of the window beside him. And his mind drifted to their last meeting...  
  
_"I want you to keep this."  
  
She accepted the item he extended to her with wounded eyes and a sarcastic smirk. Laughing angrily, she rose her brow and snapped, "A piece of paper, Jase? That's what I get? After....everything, I get a piece of paper?"  
  
"There's a number on it." He swallowed a thick lump in his throat, inhaling deeply, and placed his hands on his hips, "I've got to get out of here, Carly. You know that."  
  
"Why? Because your plan, your stupid lie, didn't save my destructive marriage to Sonny? Because he thinks he can play daddy to everyone including you and me?"  
  
Ignoring the sting of her comment, his sad eyes met hers and sent tears rushing to the brown oval before him, "If you ever need me, you make that phone call."  
  
He headed for the door with a mist burning his vision, realizing he may never see or hear from her again.  
  
A soft whimper left her lips as she called out, "What if I need you now?"  
  
Without a look back to her, he reluctantly admitted, "I can't be who need me to."  
  
"Well--" She let out a sharp, disbelieving breath, "will you ever be?"  
  
"If I am..." Nodding slowly, he reached for the door and answered honestly before walking out, "You'll know."_  
  
Reeling from the memory, Jason tried to push her wounded image aside.  
  
_I'd do anything to forget that face_.  
  
~*~  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?"  
  
"I've been waiting to do this."  
  
"Carly...if this doesn't go your way, it's over. That's it."  
  
"I have to take a chance." She replied furiously, whipping her brown waves behind her shoulders, "I need to settle this with him. Even if we never speak again, I've got it off my chest, and I've finally got some closure."  
  
"Closure? What if you need him some time later and you can't depend on him because of this?"  
  
"I already told you, Mama, it doesn't matter." She noted Bobbie's worried look and took a deep breath, "This isn't about Jason or our past. This is about me. I can't move forth and...I--I can't even go back without getting these over between us. After this conversation, I'll finally know where we stand because I'm not walking away until I get the answers I need."  
  
"Carly, this is a goodbye. Nothing more, nothing less, and I don't want you getting hurt." Bobbie soaked in her daughter's thoughtful gaze and shook her head slowly, "I'm begging you not to invest all of yourself into this meeting. It's been too long for repair, and I'm not sure you're ready to let it go. Trust me, sweetie, this meeting will make you let go of him, and I don't think you can."  
  
"You know, Mama, I'm a lot of things..." Offering a bright yet sad smile, she asserted, "But I'm not weak."  
  
Before Bobbie could protest, her daughter's waving hands had concluded the conversation and her heels were out the door. The moment it shut behind her, her mother sighed, "I hope you're right."  
  
~*~  
  
He was a little hurt she had a designated place for them to meet, until he had set his eyes on the place.  
  
After wandering through beautiful park, full of green grass and luscious tress, he found himself at a small bridge arched over a flowing creek.  
  
It made things seem new, even as painful memories strangled the fresh air surrounding.  
  
For the first time in a long while, Jason Morgan drew in a deep breath without feeling his chest burn with the ache of loss...a loss of everything.  
  
The purity of his surroundings came crashing down when he heard faint footsteps accompany the sound of the water rushing below.   
  
Immediately, their eyes met and every bit of their past overwhelmed them in a matter of minutes.  
  
_{Take it back, take it all back now  
The things I gave  
Like the taste of my kiss on your lips  
I miss that now}_  
  
The moment he saw her again, calm and confident, his heart fell to the ground.   
  
Instantly, he had another image of her to save and reserve to a dark, wanton corner of his mind and it hurt him more than it awarded him.  
  
For her, since he was not nearly as lost as she had hoped he would be, brought her back every burn of rejection and betrayal.  
  
"I wasn't sure you'd show up." She ignored his silence, stepping onto the bridge, and shoved her slender hands into her long, designer overcoat, "So...I'm not sure how to start this conversation."  
  
Her nervous nature caused him to speak up as he bowed his head shamefully, "You said you needed me."  
  
"Right to the point, okay." Carly nodded slowly, drifting to the bridge rail opposite of him, "I did bring you here for a reason, and it's...important... _ **extremely**_ important...to me."  
  
Turning to face her, he crossed his arms and leaned slightly against the rail, "I'm listening."  
  
"It's like this. I..." Carly paused, composing herself, and tried to ignore her immediate tears, shutting her eyes tightly, "I need this... _ **thing**_ , whatever it is, to be--over between us, and..." Lifting her head, she bored her eyes into his and admitted heartbroken, "I don't know if I can or...if it's possible, but I have to try. And--after everything we've put each other through...I think you want the same."  
  
Remaining silent, he set his crystal blue gaze on her and tried not to give away with his words what his eyes spoke so clearly.   
  
"That's what this is, Jase...the goodbye...my goodbye."  
  
_{I can't try any harder than I do  
All the reasons I gave  
Excuses I made for you  
I'm broken in two}_  
  
"No matter how much time passes, _**this**_ ," Carly gestured to the two of them, eventually resting her hand on her knotted stomach, and continued, "haunts me. It holds me, and it won't let me go. Because...every ounce of pain I feel is from what happened. Not between me and Sonny, but between me and you."  
  
"I don't..." Softening his voice as much as possible, Jason stated, "I don't know what you want me to say."  
  
"And I'm sick of trying to get you to say the perfect thing. The remotely right thing, Jason, can't you see that?"  
  
There was a long, uncertain moment of silence between them. Both tried to come up with the right words to express the emotions behind their confusion.  
  
"...you know I'm sorry for what I did. But...there's nothing I can do to take it back."  
  
"Back? Jase, you made a thousand excuses! You gave me a million reasons why you're betrayal was completely justified! Yet, when I made one stupid mistake with a one night stand you couldn't possibly see where the lines were blurred?" Her words immediately brought his defenses forward in a cold stare, but she refused to back down, "You told me once that I couldn't have things both ways, it either was or it wasn't. But it's not true. You are just like me! You make the bend and adjust the rules to your actions, and it isn't fair!"  
  
"I did what I did for you and the kids."  
  
"Are you listening to yourself? Do you see what you've done to yourself?" The questions escaped her mystified by disbelief and sadness. Before he could respond, she had let out a soft angry laugh, "We were _yours_. _**Your**_ family. No one else's, and we would have been that all along if you had just trusted your feelings. If you had just stopped convincing yourself that everyone deserved everything except you! If you had just stopped for a second and realized you owed not a damn thing to Sonny! Not respect! Not love! And certainly not your loyalty!"  
  
_{All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me empty and left to wonder  
I need you  
All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me waiting and left to wonder  
I need you  
Yeah I need you  
Don't walk away}_  
  
He stood completely aware, fully expectant of every horrible truth she reminded him of, and he could think of nothing to say to her. Not one word came to him that could possibly defend everything he knew to be painfully real.  
  
"I meant it when I said I would have fought for you against anyone. I honestly believed **no** _one_ could have turned me against you, including Sonny, until you did just that. _**You**_ turned me against you. You made me hate and distrust you, no one else did!"  
  
"I know!" Throwing his hands in the air, Jason shouted with his last ounce of strength, "I know, all right?! I know what I did to you, and I know what it cost me!"  
  
"That's just it! It isn't about you! It's about us! Jase, us! Whatever we were, we were always family. We were always friends, and you don't ruin that to try to give me the picture perfect family I never asked for! One you never even asked me about! I mean--" Carly's frustration was strangling her, suffocating her with the words which had been pent up for way too long, "since when do you speak or think for me?! How could you do the one thing you hated to someone you swear was your friend?!"  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, Jason admitted softly and avoided her eyes, "I can't explain it. I thought I was doing the right thing." His confession caused her to pout slightly, obviously fighting her sadness, and he looked away, "I can't go back, Carly. I can't change it. It's done."  
  
"Why can't you just," Carly paused, letting out a heavy and shaky sigh, and crossed her arms while shaking her head, " **once** stop brushing it aside? Stop acting like the past doesn't matter, when you know damn well it's all that matters to either of us. Stop acting like we shouldn't talk about the one thing that has stopped us from moving on with the rest of our lives!"   
  
"What? You want me to say I love you? Is that it?"  
  
"This isn't about love. I finally realize that doesn't matter with you, the almighty and all knowing Jason Morgan has better things to do then be in love with someone."  
  
Though the comment cut him deeply, he ignored the wound and met her eyes with his own, "Then what is it about?"  
  
She gave him a small nod and whispered one, simple word, "Trust."  
  
_{Touch me now how I wanna feel  
Something so real  
Please remind me, my love  
And take me back}_  
  
"I gave my whole heart to you, and it never mattered. But I put all my trust into you, and I would have bet life you wouldn't step on it. And you did. Why? Because you just can't seem to do the same for me, can you? You can't now, you couldn't in the past, and you never will trust me."  
  
"I trust you."  
  
"No, you don't."  
  
"How can you tell me I don't trust you? Who's thinking for who here?"  
  
"You say you trust me, you say it so much that I bought it. But I should've known the things you truly mean are never said." Carly saw his uncertain look and smiled slightly, glowing with sarcasm, "When you say things like I love you and I trust you, you say it to convince more than another person. You do it to convince yourself. You say it because you think, if it's out there enough, you'll start to feel it."  
  
With the proclamation, Jason stared off, somewhat dazed and confused by the observation. But no matter what he thought or looked too, his attention never left her...or her words.  
  
"I get it now, you know?" A little shaken, Carly went on with complete confidence in her comments, "You never said you loved me, because you did. You didn't have to say it. You didn't need a billboard or to scream from the roof tops....you felt it with everything you were. All you need was a look or a smile...and you felt like I knew that you loved me. For the first time in your life, you didn't need to convince yourself of that."   
  
Jason's eyes met hers again, the mist in his deepening the blue of his hypnotizing stare.  
  
"That meant so much more to you than words, and I couldn't see it. I thought I did, but I didn't. I never realized how much you loved me until I stepped away from it...until I finally let myself see the truth. You never did or said what I wanted, but you always thought about it." Unable to hold his eyes, afraid she may lose it, she hung her head and went on, "But I say things, Jase. I scream it, I cry it, and I breathe it...so deeply that I wanted the same. I didn't realize that the what you gave me with one stare was meant so much more...meant the world without meaning to...and, for that, and that only....I'm so sorry."  
  
_{'Cause I'm so in love with what we were  
I'm not breathing I'm suffocating  
Without you   
Do you feel it too}_  
  
When he said nothing, she went right back into attack mode, "And I know I should accept your silence and that stare as an apology, but I don't. I can't. I need to hear you say words that mean something to you, something I'm not forcing you to say, but I won't get that because I practically have to drag it out of you and..."   
  
Jason watched as she made a silent assessment of their situation, but he said nothing to help her...just awaited her next verbal assault.  
  
"This was a mistake." Dabbing tears away with her palms, Carly turned away from him, set to jet in the other direction, and repeated, "This is a horrible mistake."  
  
"You're wrong."  
  
His call to her was soft, soothing sweet and froze her in place. Two words and she had been stopped dead in her tracks, but their eyes remained away from one another.  
  
"I want to hear you. I want understand you. The way..." His voice drifted off causing her to slow turn to him with a sad, hesitant expression. The moment Jason spotted this, he picked up his sentence once again, "the way I use too."  
  
Carly held her head high, her bottom lip quivering with emotion, as she drew in a deep breath.  
  
"If you think I don't think about it, about... _ **us**_ every day, you're wrong." Bowing his head, he tried to think aloud and give her something he never had...all of himself, "It's all I think about sometimes."  
  
Hearing this, she loudly blew out the same breath she had been holding in and remained silent otherwise.  
  
"I hurt you, and I know it. I know I can't fix it. And...I know I can never be _**that**_ person in your life again." His eyes met hers, the tears burning the visions mutually, as he breathlessly told her, "And I don't know what I'm doing anymore. With you..." Drifting his eyes away from hers, Jason went on somewhat disgusted, "With anyone."  
  
_{All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me waiting and left to wonder  
I need you  
All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me empty and left to wonder  
I need you  
Yeah I need you}_  
  
"There was a time when the only thing that made sense to me, made sense in my life, was protecting Michael...protecting you. Then it just...it felt like I lost it."  
  
"Why? Why did you decide protecting me suddenly wasn't a factor?"  
  
"When I saw you that night, I lost you."  
  
"You didn't. Sonny didn't have me, Jase, you--"  
  
"I lost everything, and nothing made sense." He insisted, cutting her off sharply, and lifted his hands in frustration, "I didn't know what to do or say. All I knew was that I had to find something else that made sense."  
  
"Well, did you?"  
  
"No, and that's the problem." Jason stopped himself, trying to figure out how he would explain the biggest complication of his life...caring for her.  
  
It seemed like the world paused for him, like she was simply awaiting for motion to return as he took his time saying things she had always needed to hear.  
  
"When I came back to stay, when I saw you with Sonny, I thought I saw us. What we were suppose to have, and I remembered everything we had lost. Everything I was never suppose to want." Jason bored his eyes into hers, hoping if his words were not doing a thing...she could read his stare, "When I saw you losing it, losing what I had, I tried to save it. It may not make sense to you, and you may hate me for it. But it's the truth. I didn't want you or the boys to lose your family, like I had."  
  
"Jase..."  
  
"It's probably not the answer you want, and I get that. But it's the truth. Take it or leave it."  
  
_{When I'm in the dark and all alone  
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door  
It's there I know my heart is whole}_  
  
"It still sounds like excuses to me."  
  
"It's whatever you want it to be."  
  
"How do I even know if you're telling the truth, Jason? How do I know you're not lying to me?"  
  
"I can't answer that."  
  
"You can, but you won't."  
  
"Why do you think I'm hiding something from you?"  
  
"You want a list?"  
  
By some miracle, their maturity quickly stepped in and stopped them from going full scale with the argument.   
  
Instead, they made an agreement in their silence to regain control and waited until calm had hinted its return.  
  
"I want to believe you, Jase."  
  
"...I want you to believe me too."  
  
"You have no idea what it's like." Running her hands into her hair, she glanced towards the sky and exhaled, "I'm sick of blaming myself for what you did to me. For the way you hurt me, over and over...without hesitation. And you did it, knowing I would have went to the ends of the Earth for you."  
  
"...I know what it's like."  
  
It felt like a knife twisting in their side, knowing they both felt the other was at fault...all because it was too painful to look in the mirror and take responsibility.  
  
"I'm sorry for what happened, Carly. But I know saying it doesn't make a difference. I know saying it won't make you forget or forgive...because I've felt the same way about you."  
  
"The difference between me and you is that I want to do those things. I want to forgive, forget, and get past it. But you can't, you refuse to."  
  
_{There's a millions reasons why I cry  
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes   
'Cause I don't wanna be alone}_  
  
"And I don't how you feel about it, but I hate thinking about you. I hate that every time I look at Michael I think about promises you made and broke. I hate thinking for a second I might still want you around." Carly's words became like venom, but she gave not a damn, "But I want to make one thing so crystal clear to you, Jason."  
  
Nodding slowly, Jason soaked in the words he never thought he would hear and believe.  
  
"I **_don't_** need you. And if I have learned anything, it's that. I don't need you now, and I never did. I needed me." When he said nothing, Carly stomped towards him and got into his face, "Do you understand me? Do you hear what I'm saying?"  
  
Jason searched her eyes for some touch of fear, some hint she would actually stop him if he walked away, and there was nothing.   
  
"I love it that I can live with my children, have a life, and not worry about what you're doing to help Sonny. Worry about another mistake you may make, and I'll have to forgive. Because at least what I did to you, put you through, was horrible. But my past pales in comparison to what you've done." Stabbing his chest with her index finger every time a word escaped her, she tearfully convicted him as she went on, "You helped him use me. You helped him destroy me. You helped him take my kids. And when all else failed you lied to me. _You_ fed me the ultimate lie about my husband's mistress."  
  
Her words hurt him more than her aggressive pokes, but he managed to counter, "Then why am I here?"  
  
"Because no matter what you say, I'm still left with the why question!" Cupping her forehead, the tears began to escape her eyes, "Why can't I understand your logic behind hurting me? Why can't I just get through this and let you go?"  
  
"I'm here for that same reason." Jason confessed quietly causing her to frown in sadness, "I can't let go."  
  
"You can't let go of being the hero to every woman who shows up in Port Charles?"  
  
Reaching out to brush away her stray tears, he said almost inaudible, "I can't let go of you."  
  
_{All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me waiting and left to wonder  
I need you  
All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me empty and left to wonder  
I need you  
I need you}_  
  
She dropped her jaw slightly, as though she just been struck, and gently pushed his hand away, "But you want to, right?"  
  
"No."  
  
When he answered so easily, she returned the favor with a strong sigh of relief.  
  
"You'll never let yourself go, Jason, and...you'll never be happy. I may let go too often, but...I wouldn't trade places with you." After hopefully removing the last of her tears, Carly continued sympathetically, "You hide from yourself. You torture yourself. And all you have to do is let it go. You say it's in the past, and you act like you're over it. But you're not. And let me tell you something, you can tatoo I'm over it on your forehead...it's not gonna make it true."  
  
"I'm not the one asking you to meet me."  
  
"No, but you sure did rush here all of the sudden, didn't you?"  
  
Jason tightened his jaw, resting his elbows on the railing, and focused forward...anywhere but on her.  
  
"I'm not running. You run every day, from everything, and I've finally learned to do the exact opposite...because of you." Staring towards him, finding some hint of a man she once knew, she rested her hand on his shoulder and spoke concerned, "You're going to get tired. Eventually, you'll look back and wonder why you didn't deal with it. But it'll be too late. I won't be like that. I won't be like you, and that's why I'm here. That why I _**needed**_ to see you."  
  
"So, that's it? You walk away."  
  
"I think it's time, don't you?"  
  
"No, Carly, I don't."  
  
"I guess it's good you're not running things then, huh? I guess it's good I can think for myself without any assistance from the people who claim to care about me."  
  
_{'Cause I can't fake  
And I can't hate   
But it's my heart   
That's about to break  
You're all I need   
I'm on my knees   
Watch me bleed   
Would you listen please}_  
  
"Let me lead you for a minute. You couldn't hold me over Sonny, like I was so sure you would. For some reason, I actually believe I had hierarchy...some kind higher value, and I was wrong."  
  
"I didn't know I was helping Sonny until it was too late."  
  
"Come on, Jase, I'm vulnerable not stupid."  
  
"It's the truth. I didn't know I was choosing sides until it was done. I always thought I could--"  
  
"What? Stay in neutral? Keep still between us? We're talking about Sonny Corinthos here not Tony. This is a man who manipulates for fun, and you thought he'd actually lead you down the right path?"  
  
"I wasn't thinking about anything except trying to--"  
  
"Do you still not see that I was done wrong? I was the one who got shot in the head? Got practically handed over to Lorenzo the same way you handed me to Sonny?"  
  
"You chose--"  
  
"Nothing! And you along with every other man has made it clear that I've never had an opportunity to decide anything for myself. I'm not helpless and, without you two, I finally remember that."  
  
"Carly, I never wanted to..."  
  
"Control me? Lie to me? Hurt me? I've heard it all, and I'm not impressed."   
  
_{I give in  
I breathe out   
I want you   
There's no doubt   
I freak out   
I'm left out   
Without you   
I'm without   
I cross out   
I can't doubt  
I cry out   
I reach out...}_  
  
"I can't tell you how sorry I am. That's the truth, Carly, and I don't know what else to say." Locking his hands in front of him, he let it be known, "I want to stop you from walking away every time...but I don't. Half the time, I'm not sure you want me too."  
  
"And the other half?"  
  
"Doesn't know how to stop you. What to say...or not say."  
  
"All I wanted was for you to say stop. That's it. One word, and you couldn't do it. You couldn't just swallow your pride for   
  
Removing a thin item from her pocket, Carly sniffled softly and stepped back, "I want you to change, Jason, but I don't have the patience or heart to stick around for it anymore. I'm not waiting. I'm moving on with my life for me and the boys."  
  
Looking towards the paper, Jason took a moment to digest the aged paper...and it was quickly recognizable.  
  
"I don't need this or you anymore. So...here."  
  
"I don't want this to be over."  
  
"It is. Has been, and that's it." Carly shook her head slowly, needing to ignore his pleading eyes to continue with strength...to be able to take those last steps away from him, "You don't have a choice anymore."  
  
"Carly, this doesn't feel right."  
  
"We're not arguing, remember? Just take the damn number back and lose mine. It's not that hard."  
  
He did nothing.  
  
"Fine." Tearing the piece of paper a few times, she tossed it over the side of the bridge and spun away from him.   
  
"Carly, wait..." She had nearly taken three steps away when his voice begged, "Please."  
  
Immediately, she was rushed with emotions and flooded by reminiscent tears.  
  
Shutting her eyes closed tightly, she turned towards him again and whispered, "Don't do this."  
  
"I don't want you to go."  
  
"It's too late." Her ebony eyes fluttered open, stunning him with innocence and depression, "I've done what you're about to do a thousand times, and it doesn't make a difference. I can promise you it won't make a damn bit of difference, Jason."  
  
_{Don't walk away...  
Don't walk away...  
Don't walk away...  
Don't walk away}_  
  
"I told myself if it was just one more time, it would be the last, and it isn't. We'll be here again, and I don't want to."  
  
"We're different. It doesn't have to be the same."  
  
His suggestion brought her a flood of hopeful, romantic ideas and she had to smile.  
  
"Jase, I've went through it. I've imagined it every possible way. It's always the same result."  
  
As he stared towards her, so unwillingly to let go, she wrapped her arms around herself tightly and thoughtfully added, "I kept thinking if we had just met at a different time, in a different place, it would have changed things."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And it isn't true."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
A sharp, sarcastic laugh escaped her before she explained, "Because we'll be the same people, just in a different time and different place."  
  
"...I'm asking you to try."  
  
"And how do I know you're not going to run from the next time things get tough, huh? I'm not putting myself through that again."   
  
"I don't want to walk away from _**this**_ , Carly. Please, don't make me."  
  
"Like I have any control over what you do, Jase."  
  
"...you know you do."  
  
It seemed like an eternity as he waited for her to respond, waited for her to stop staring at him as though she feared the slightest touch would scar her more than ever before.  
  
However, in the end, she did not let him down.  
  
Bravely extending her hand, she forced a bright smile and announced, "I'm Caroline Spencer, but..my friend's call me Carly."  
  
He accepted her hand, laughing under his breath nervously, and responded, "Jason Morgan."  
  
"It's nice to meet you, Jason."  
  
"It's nice to meet you too." Still somewhat stunned by the ludicrous of their attempt, he stepped outside of himself and tried to play along, "But I'm not sure what to call you."  
  
Suddenly, without warning, she was in his face again and the attempt was over....somewhat.  
  
"You can call me anything..." She took his face in her hands, burning his eyes with her own, and added, "as long as you promise you will never run from me."  
  
Pressing his forehead to hers, he graciously accepted the affectionate stroke of her thumbs and whispered softly, "I promise, Carly."  
  
The second he said those three words, a sob escaped her and she was in his arms...clinging to him.   
  
Embracing her tightly, Jason closed his eyes and absorbed every bit of her presence. And he made a promise to himself to play this day in his mind forever, so he would not make the same mistakes...so he would never lose her again.  
  
_**The End**_  
  
_**Song Credit: "Undiscovered" - Ashlee Simpson**_


End file.
